Tesla humor and I hope I get this right this time!

["Garry F." <garryfre-at-pacbell-dot-net> (by way of Terry Fritz <twftesla-at-uswest-dot-net>)]

There once was a man named Birquette.
Whose Tesla hobby put him in debt.
While adjusting his gap, he got a large zap 
and now he's a charcoal bricquette!
 
Now the question. Yep, I made up the above limmerick
 
I keep mis-stating the thickness of the polyethelene between my stack cap by
mentioning the thickness of an individual sheet instead of the total thickness.
Well, this makes the eighth try and if I get it wrong this time, I guess I
don't deserve the answer.
 
Each plate is separated by four .012" sheets for a total of .048 thickness. I
hope I got the decimal place in the right place.
 
The area of overlap on each plate equals 26 square inches.
 
The transformer is a 12/30 NST. When I try to calculate the value of the cap,
and compare it to what I see in some plans I have, the figures don't make
sense.
 
What I need is a reccommendation on the number of plates I should use in this
cap for a LTR cap. I guess I want between .80pF to 1.00pf or is that supposed
to be uF?
 
According to an online wintesla that I lost the link to, my secondary resonates
at 450mhz?? It's a thick wall OD of about 3.5 inches the wound area is 24" long
with #29 wire. 
 
--
 
How do you know your neighbor is a Tesla maniac?
 
He has curly hair and he's swedish.
You find him winding a primary around his house.
There is a large toriod on his chimney.
The primary is attached to a lighting rod!
All the telephone poles on the block are sanded smoothe and varnished.
He has a program to calculate the k rating of tennis shoes!
If RF begins to interfere with is TV, the TV goes out the door!
He doesn't know the size of his wedding ring but he does know it's unductance!